From personal loss to shared hope, supported by Royal Arch Companions
How the compassionate support of Essex Royal Arch Companions helped one family navigate grief and find hope through shared bonds
When Martin Rooke, an Essex Freemason and member of Henry de Gray Lodge No. 6627, lost his wife Becky, his focus on what mattered narrowed to one small person, his two-year-old daughter Rachael.
As a grieving husband and parent, Martin faced the immediate responsibility of caring for a very young child while coming to terms with his own loss. Becky, a nurse, had lived with mitochondrial disease and the reality of severe daily seizures. Her passing brought profound change to family life.
Trying to explain such a loss in a way Rachael could understand was not easy. Martin chose a simple story about a caterpillar becoming a butterfly, not as a metaphor for others, but as a way of helping his daughter feel safe and reassured in a time of confusion and loss.
When Martin shared this within Henry de Gray Lodge, the response was immediate and sincere. Rather than offering words alone, members focused on being present and offered practical support. That steady, respectful, and ongoing support reassured Martin that he and his family were not facing this loss in isolation.
Through ongoing conversations with David Barton, a fellow member of Henry de Gray Lodge and the founder of Get Started Art, the idea began to take clearer shape. David’s work, rooted in using creativity to support wellbeing at difficult moments in life, closely reflected Martin’s own instinctive approach with Rachael. Together, they recognised that the simple story Martin had created could offer reassurance to other families facing loss. From this shared understanding came the decision to develop it into a children’s colouring book, designed to be gentle, accessible, and quietly supportive, giving parents and carers a practical tool to help young children process bereavement.
Essex Royal Arch Freemasons heard about the story and responded with generosity and purpose. Their support sat naturally alongside their ongoing commitment to local hospice care and family support across the county, including their involvement in a £10,000 Christmas donation to local hospices and the time given by Companions who volunteered to collect Christmas trees to help raise additional funds.
Royal Arch Companions from Old Parkonians Chapter No. 4709, together with Companions of the Combined Sports Chapter of Essex Chapter No 9944, also provided the funding required to produce the book at scale, ensuring it could be shared wherever it might genuinely help. As a direct result of that support, 5,000 copies are now being distributed across Essex to hospices, hospitals, funeral directors, and family support services, including St Luke’s Hospices and Havens Hospices.
"Stories like Martin’s remind us of the profound impact that compassion and fellowship can have.” said Colin Felton, Essex Provincial Deputy Grand Superintendent. “Through the quiet, practical support of our Royal Arch Companions, personal loss has met with shared hope and grief is transformed into comfort for families across Essex. It’s a powerful example of how our fraternity can make a real, tangible difference in people’s lives. I sincerely hope that our Royal Arch Chapters will continue to support this incredible initiative, ensuring that many more children and families can benefit from the care, kindness and guidance that our members so generously provide."
This remains, primarily, Martin’s story: an Essex Freemason, a parent, and now a widower, finding a way forward for his child. The support he has received shows how Masonic fellowship, offered quietly and selflessly, can help turn personal loss into something that brings comfort to others.
Chapters or Lodges who would like to support this work through funding or involvement, can contact
Photos:
Top: Martin with daughter, Rachael
Right: ‘The Caterpillar and Butterfly’ colouring book
